Do, don't tell: Transitions

One area of conflict with toddlers and preschoolers which seems universal is times of transition.  "Okay, now we're going outside" or "Now it's time to eat dinner" can make a toddler upset since they're likely absorbed in whatever they're already doing.  Some parents make it worse by not only announcing a complete change in activity, but also asking for approval for such a strange and upsetting idea:  "Now we're going in the car, okay?" the parents ask.

I ask, why make announcements, why ask questions?  Sure, everyone needs a warning of something they'll have to do soon.  A fifteen-minute warning, a ten-minute warning and a five-minute warning works wonders.  Just matter-of-fact statements about what's going to happen so that everyone knows.  

But when the time comes, it's best just to go ahead and start the process-- start putting away the toys, putting on the shoes, taking his hand and leading him to the car-- whatever it is that needs to be done, even with a fun challenge attached like "ok, let's see if we can get in the car in 10 seconds."  This way, the child is not put in the position of approving of anything, or disapproving-- it's simply what is happening, and he already knows about it from the warnings. 

Try it and let me know what happens.